a list for bad days

Written by Haley Jakobson

 

1. grief will become your life partner, you will learn to love her.
2. you’ll never get good at having your period. 
3. just buy more underwear. 
4. do not keep socks with holes. you’re not a fucking savage. 
5. stop believing that kindness is part of grade school curriculum
6. there will be days where your body will stretch with the geraniums, the animal of you will breathe and bristle and your head will be lullabied by your blood swilling beneath the warm mountain range of you
7. there will more days that are the opposite of that
8. when your branches ache and saplings turn stone, your skull screams, toes freeze and the thought of moving like misery:

stop
yelling


9. you will have days like 6 again, days like 8 make 6 possible, on those days the mountains are moving inside of you, what hills your heart is climbing, dumplings and re-runs for fuel
10. after a day like 8, you will stumble your way to the floor, rub your temples and your ears, light a match at the top of the mountain, do not run when the tears begin to fall
11. when you hate your body, ask yourself which part of your heart is broken today
12. replace punishment crunches with a soft tummy and hands on skin, what if the core of you didn’t come in packs of 8, what happens when you remember you are made of water and weight, the fire in your belly needn’t always burn why do you think the sun takes night’s off?
13. sex isn’t ever casual, we’ve just all got really great coping mechanisms
14. everybody’s fucked up about money
15. it’s. okay. to. be. sad. 
16. take a bath